No, we're not responsible for the services we provide, just the ones we don't

"Hello! Bob Bobbleedob here again! So glad I managed to get hold of you, you'd be surprised how many people seem to not answer their phone now. Ahem."

"Stop calling. I want nothing to do with you and I do not require your services."

"Ah, well, the thing is, though, we've decided we're going to be responsible for your child's education from now on, so you will be needing to engage with me."

"What? If you're responsible for kids' education, how come you're not getting sued left right and centre by the parents of the schoolchildren you're failing?!"

"Well you see, fortunately for us we're not responsible for their education."

"The children in your schools? You're not responsible for their education?!"

"Nope. Not a jot. Section 7 of the Education Act 1996 states that legally it's entirely the parents' responsibility. So, er, we're off the hook."

"So how on earth are you going to be responsible for my Charlie's education then?"

"Quite simple really, it came to our attention that it was nothing to do with us, and we didn't like that. We intend to make sure that every home educated child's education is suited to their age, ability, aptitude, personality and interests."

"For every individual one of tens of thousands of home educated children whom you don't even know?"

"Ah... er, yes."

"Not to challenge your credentials or anything, but you don't even do that for the children in your schools..."

"Very true! Ha! You've got it! We're not responsible for any schoolchild's education! You really have caught on quickly. Fantastic, isn't it?!"

"So you're telling me that when your schools fail thousands and thousands of children educationally, legally the fault completely rests with the parents? And yet you want to make yourself responsible for my child's education - which, I might add, you have absolutely no reason to believe I'm not fulfilling along with every other one of my responsibilities as a parent - and send her to one of your schools if I still decline your enforced parental licensing and monitoring service?"

"Yes! Brilliant. So glad you're on board. So if we can just pop your details down we'll get you registered and all ready for us to clamp down on you."

*click*

It's true. It's legally the parents' fault when a quarter of children leave primary school without a basic grasp of English and maths. The parents' fault when schools fail to cater to children's individual aptitudes. And the parents' fault when schools fail to deal with a child's special educational needs. Government is already failing thousands of children that do use their services. Don't let them force their failing services on families who don't want them, and who are doing a better job than schools. Even if you're not a home educator, complete their consultation, and give them a resounding NO. These are not the government's children. They are ours, and we will not comply.